The Selfish Me

“As a night nurse, I want to be able to tell clients that we are here not just for meds but also to listen to them” Rosemarie Stanton, RN, The Refuge – A Healing Place

“Look at me. You called me strong. I always take care of you, my love, my family, my friends and yet I always feel alone. I cry too you know. I need a shoulder to cry on too. I need someone to hear me too. I am always here to listen to you and yet I cannot say a word when I don’t want to hear you or look at your tears anymore. My heart breaks too. And yet..I am falling deeper in my loneliness. I need to be selfish and look after myself. I need to heal inside and only I can tell myself to get it together. Leave a piece of me to hang on to. This is my life, my own world I must draw. I need a hand to guide me through. Help me. ”

How many times have we heard these words and yet not really heard it? Of course, we understand what it means, our books tell us the meaning of loneliness, desperation but a cry for help? Without invading their inner soul? Is it possible? Our optimistic side would tell us of course, it is. Do we try to decipher their problems, what caused this? What can I do to unravel this mystery called life?

As a nurse, I think about interventions. What can I do to help the client feel comfortable, but then I always look at my human side and think…nothing…just listen. Maybe that 15 seconds of silence is the answer to it all. The human touch without touching but reaching out is a way of saying…I am here..I will help you.

When you let me in your heart and allow me to reach out, only then can I help you. Look at me in the eye and tell me…’I need help’…only then can I help. If you tell me to listen and not say a word, I will listen with my heart and not my ears. I may not know all the answers, I will never know your pain, but I can ease the burden in your soul. Keep talking, try to reach hand will always be here for you to hold on to. Day or night, I will be your nightingale.

Rose Stanton RN