Category: Grief

The Selfish Me

“As a night nurse, I want to be able to tell clients that we are here not just for meds but also to listen to them” Rosemarie Stanton, RN, The Refuge – A Healing Place “Look at me. You called me strong. I always take care of you, my love, my family, my friends and yet I always feel alone. I cry too you know. I need a shoulder to cry... Read More

A trip home: A Lesson in Transgenerational Trauma

I recently had the opportunity to train an amazing group of professionals at a hospital in eastern Oregon, and it had me driving right through the town where I grew up! I decided to take a little detour through the main drag (about a 5-minute endeavor) to enjoy a little nostalgia. When you drive through my hometown in the Columbia River Gorge of Oregon, you will see murals of the local... Read More

Healing Our Inner Child

By: Angela Smith Therapist, The Refuge – a Healing Place Inner Child therapy is vital in understanding how we have become who we are. The first thing I tell anyone approaching inner child work, is that it is NOT about blaming, it is about understanding. Our experiences in childhood have an impact on who we become as adults and how we learn to approach relationships.  Our own security is tied... Read More

Grieving at Warp Speed

By: Cheryl Bailey Therapist, The Refuge – A Healing Place In this western culture we live in there seems to be more and more pressure to get more and more done faster and ever more efficiently.  More and more, faster and faster.  To just do a job well is no longer enough.  If you met your goals this year, there will be an expectation that you accomplish even more next... Read More

Finding Our Reflection

Trauma can alter our entire being and the way we view our selves and the world around us. This is not a new concept, and perhaps Ancient Talmudic words illustrate this best: “We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Many trauma survivors are still stuck in the past, and as a result, they miss out on the present moment and life seems to... Read More

Opening Doors

By: Annie Kaja Reed, BA, CAS Counselor, The Refuge – A Healing Place “This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, Who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.He may be clearing you out... Read More

The Power Of Music

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent” -Victor Hugo Entering group each morning I am often drawn to music as a means to quickly connect the energy of the group and set a tone.  Not only can it connect a room full of people but it can also move people beyond words helping to set the stage for the group and connect... Read More

Beneath The Surface

It’s hard to understand addiction sometimes. It’s really hard to understand when it’s someone you care for and they are looking back at you, clearly intoxicated by whatever their favorite form of controlled dissociation is (drugs, alcohol, sex, food/not eating food, gambling), and they are again lying, again manipulating and again doing all the things we can’t stand. 

Conflicted Grief

When my father died several years ago, I received a number of sympathy cards from coworkers that suggested that I let my wonderful memories of my relationship with him from childhood and onward comfort me. As a grief counselor my thoughts immediately went to how interesting it is that people who knew nothing about my father or my childhood assumed that it would be a source of comfort.  Having worked... Read More

Grief, Animals and “Burly” Men

It was one of those awkward first sessions of a grief group at the Refuge.  Ten residents ranging from 18 to 40 something sat in a circle looking like they would just as soon be having a root canal.  I had learned early on to acknowledge and address the discomfort in the room right off the bat.

A Grieving Heart

The Refuge is Blessed to have an extremely talented, committed and compassionate staff. For this blog, THE HEART of Trauma we are delighted to occasionally have a guest blogger from our clinical staff. So in addition to my blog on Wednesday, today Cheryl Bailey, LMHC, CGC, CTT  our nationally known Grief Therapist is sharing her wisdom. A Grieving Heart: At a workshop I attended, I heard: Traumatic grief is like... Read More