Category: Attachment

Redefining Fun

When I work with younger people in their journey of recovery, one of the first roadblocks I encounter is combating their very destructive ideas about what fun and excitement looks like. I once had a mentor of mine describe insanity as changing our goals to meet our behaviors! To most individuals, running from police, getting beat up or exploited sexually, using chemicals and being on the verge of overdose and... Read More

Healing Our Inner Child

By: Angela Smith Therapist, The Refuge – a Healing Place Inner Child therapy is vital in understanding how we have become who we are. The first thing I tell anyone approaching inner child work, is that it is NOT about blaming, it is about understanding. Our experiences in childhood have an impact on who we become as adults and how we learn to approach relationships.  Our own security is tied... Read More

Finding A New Tribe

“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .” C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves  I have years of education, months of additional and specialized training and my own personal experiences in recovery from addiction and childhood trauma, but to some clients, I’m just another person with a position of power, and trusting me can be far... Read More

Music’s Play on Fantasy: Are Lyrics Just Lyrics?

By: Sarah E.S. Watt, LMHC, CSAT Candidate Therapist, The Refuge – A Healing Place As a soon-to-be certified sex addiction therapist and a mother to a 2 and a half year old, I have begun to look at the culture of modern music a bit differently.   See what was once simply fun and catchy pop music becomes a bit more concerning.  Songs like “Blank Space” (2014) by Taylor Swift or... Read More

Trauma Bonding, Codependency & Toxic Relationships

By: Janina Sola, Therapist One of the most challenging aspects of life is forming healthy bonds and relationships with others.  When mixed with a history of trauma, it can become even more complicated.  Often times, a person who has experienced trauma, forms an unhealthy loyalty to others which is termed as trauma bonding.  Trauma bonding means that the “victims have a certain dysfunctional attachments that occurs in the presence of... Read More

A Different Perspective on the Holidays

By: Thomas Pecca, MS, CAS, CSAT, CTT Therapist, The Refuge – A Healing Place When I think of Thanksgiving, the classic Norman Rockwell painting comes to mind. A huge family sitting around a table preparing to carve a Turkey, so big it looks almost prehistoric. Smiles and anticipation on every face. For many of us that painting, although a caricature of American life, is close to accurate. For many of us... Read More

You Can Sit Here If You Want

By: Janina SolaTherapist, The Refuge – A Healing Place I’ll never forget the scene in the movie “Forest Gump” when Forest was to attend his first day of school.  Forest began the day with his mother at the bus stop and upon entering the bus and after some “formal” introductions with the bus driver, he proceeded to find a seat on the bus.  Forest was turned down by the children... Read More

Courage To Be Known

By: David Moss, LMHC, CTT3 Outpatient Therapist, The Refuge – A Healing Place During my internship in my Masters in Counseling program I was shown a video of a Ted Talk by Brene Brown that has shaped how I approach counseling to this day. While working on her doctorate Brene collected data on what connects us as human beings and she found an interesting theme, instead of people sharing what connected them... Read More

The Power Of Music

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent” -Victor Hugo Entering group each morning I am often drawn to music as a means to quickly connect the energy of the group and set a tone.  Not only can it connect a room full of people but it can also move people beyond words helping to set the stage for the group and connect... Read More

A Grieving Heart

The Refuge is Blessed to have an extremely talented, committed and compassionate staff. For this blog, THE HEART of Trauma we are delighted to occasionally have a guest blogger from our clinical staff. So in addition to my blog on Wednesday, today Cheryl Bailey, LMHC, CGC, CTT  our nationally known Grief Therapist is sharing her wisdom. A Grieving Heart: At a workshop I attended, I heard: Traumatic grief is like... Read More

Shadow of our Ancestors

TRAUMA: In the Shadow of Our Ancestors Everyone has a story. There is a personal story, a family story, a mythology and a historical story that is often a mystery. There are answers awaiting us in our untold ancestral story. First let me say that this topic is enormous and overarching for trauma survivors. I will be blogging about this for 2-3 weeks. Please join the conversation.

The Deepest Soul Wound

During this most joyful of holiday seasons we often see the overwhelming antithesis of joy; loneliness, sadness and even despair. The deepest and most harmful of traumas are ABANDONMENT and NEGLECT. The pervasive constant message that an individual is not worthy of care and attention, that no one is really available or willing to care and nurture you. As loving, spiritual beings reaching out to one another can truly make... Read More